The Soup

I knew from the beginning letting them stay here with us was a BIG mistake, but nobody was able to talk my parents out of it. Now we ALL have to suffer. We all have to suffer disrespect, stress, and dysfunction. We can't freely say or do anything because they seem to think that they can take over this household. They take advantage of this family. They stole. They can't parent. That girl calls everyone including my mother "immature" when she's the one flying off the handle every time ONE SMALL THING - derogatory or not- has been said directly or inderectly to/about her and at the same time pulling the whole "I'm a grown-up" act. Just because you have a baby, doesn't mean you know all about parenting. It doesn't mean you're grown up. It doesn't mean you're not the immature one. In fact, you're the most immature piece of Floridian trash I have ever met. I know 4-year-olds who act more mature than you. I don't care what you've been through in your life, you need to be thankful this family puts up with your bullshit for your sorry ass to live here FOR FREE. I despise you, and I also despise my older brother for watching you treat his own family like shit and still supporting your distorted opinions. Both of you need to calm the fuck down or I'll show you what living in hell is REALLY like.

As of late, I've been leaning more and more towards being a vegetarian. Although I might have seafood sometimes, because it's not so bad. I don't really eat it too often though. But everything else, I'm really not a meat-eater to begin with. I just do it for the protein which I can also find in peanuts and whatnot. I never eat red meat, I hate pork, and I'm starting to dislike poultry. I don't know, I just think I might try being a vegetarian for a while and see how that goes. I also want to cut greasy and fried foods out of my diet and replace candy with fruit, and I must resist pop at all costs, because one sip gets me somehow addicted to it and I sometimes begin to crave it. Very odd, but it happens. I should start to drink juice or tea instead. I'm glad I'm not into coffee, and chips are just nasty. Most of them.

I also need to watch my portions too, because this whole month I've been eating whatever I want in any amount and at any time. Its like a month or so ago, I went through a period of eating literally almost nothing(because of depression) to binging and eating everything. I think it's time I stop, because I'm noticing I'm getting lazier, fatter and I sometimes break out. I hadn't done a workout in about 2 months now, and that's a long time for me. I'll need to get back to that routine as soon as I can.

Well anyways, I guess I just typed this to point out what I need to motivate myself on doing.

I like bananas.

Bye.

My legs are killing me. I've been walking for about three hours. I walked to The Village and just hung around the square for a while enjoying the beautiful weather and tune coming from that tea place. It was very quiet and empty. I felt relaxed. Then I wandered off to a graveyard, which was also very quiet and empty, but it was gorgeous and I'm one who really doesn't like dwelling around graveyards. The sun was beginning to set and the breeze was nice and cool. I wanted to enjoy a beverage at the coffee shop but it was closed for memorial day weekend. Bummer.
Oh well, I just thought I'd tell about that beautiful walk I had.


Speaking of "beautiful," I really can't stop listening to this song. And Matthew, I love how you can get away with pretty much ANY hair color.

I HATE YOU. Why? Because there isn't enough of you in my pocket. I REALLY need a camera, but I also want to wear nicer clothing. What should I do? Photography or a cute wardrobe? I'm kind of leaning towards blowing off my money(whenever my asshole brother pays back what he stole) on clothes since everything I wear is repeated and quite ugly. I really want to switch things up a little and try something new. I'm sick of looking exactly the same ALL the time.
Man, I am quite happy these days. Why? I haven't a clue. I have attempted eating completely healthy today but totally failed with cookies and ice cream. lol

I want to change some things. The problem is, every time I try, it doesn't happen. The one thing I'm so far successfully changing is the motivation to get my work done and handed in. I've practically given up on trying to get a more toned and fit body, since my weight just annoyingly shifts from "ew" to "mmm" to "ew" again and I can't keep up with a workout schedule for over a month nor can I stop eating so much. As for tanning, I can't do it when there's bees swarming around. I'm terrified of them. And for clothing, I need to stop wearing low-cut shirts because I finally realized that I look like some easy skankbag which only attracts nerds who can't get laid. BLECH.

I survived the first week of school quite well, I'll say. So far, I am getting my work done and hoping to keep it that way for the rest of this year and the next. I didn't do my best for freshman and sophomore year. As for love life, I think I can honestly say that being single is fun.

I've been listening to Muse a lot more as of late. I really just love thier music, and how they kick ass live. Before I die, I MUST go to one of their concerts or better yet, meet them. That would be the best thing ever. I also want to meet Brandon Flowers from The Killers.

I don't know you anymore. I want nothing to do with you. Why? Because all it will do is cause uneccessary pain. I gave you a second chance, and you blew it. Your loss. Am I much of a loss to you? Probably not, you have a whole large group of other stuck-up girls that will gleefully be willing to let you fuck them over as well. But when you get seriously fucked over by someone you really sincerely care about, I hope you curl up in a ball and sob like a little baby. Maybe you'll realize what I went through more than once with you. Hah, I'm only just saying things, because I know you'll never change.

Love,
Girl

I have survived the first day of junior year. It wasn't so bad, actually.

Photography class, I walked in like "Okay, who the hell are these people?" but then I just sat next to Jacob and clowned around whilst trying to soak up some information from the teacher. The class requires you to have a 35mm film camera with the lenses and all that. Fortunately, I have that old one that used to belong to my grandpa before he died. I still have it put away in my closet and never really took the time to figure it out, but hopefully it'll do for that class so I don't have to go out and buy one. Also, this class can probably teach me how to figure that camera out so that I don't let it sit in my closet forever collecting dust.

Earth science, I like the teacher. He's a pretty cool guy. At least he seems like it, anyway. The class doesn't seem too hard I guess. I sat next to my ex today and it did feel quite weird, but the awkwardness kinda faded as the class went on. It's still there, but not as much.

Lunch time, couldn't finish my food.

English 11 cp, this class is probably the most boring one I have. I paid attention to Mr.Herald's lecture for about 30 minutes and then completely zoned out. Then a bee flew in from the window towards me and I screamed. Everyone turned and stared at me like I was retarded.

Study hall was just fun. I sat around awesome friends and we just fooled around and told funny stories. I kept being stared at by some kid the whole class though.. creep.

Tech Literacy, I walked in and Mrs.Cueni told me I have to drop this class since I've taken it last year. I sat by a kid who smells like cigarettes and asshole the whole class and got a major headache from the fumes. I'm pretty damn happy I'm dropping that class, because I'm too nice to tell him he smells horrible and I want to sit away from him.

Well, the day overall was pretty good I guess. At the end of the day, my good mood faded.




You've poisoned me.

It is 2:40am and I just ate a hotdog. Isn't that gross? I really need to stop eating nasty foods, especially now that summer is pretty much over.

I am bummed that today is the last day of summer and then it's back to school tomorrow. I still haven't gone shopping for school supplies yet. Still. I'm kind of excited for school, but kinda not. It just doesn't feel like it's that close.

This year, I'm going to try really hard to get good grades. Also, I REALLY have to start eating healthy again. Now that school is back, I don't want to be tired and gross everyday.